It's the joy

you shared
hopes and dreams
fulfilled
you hope
he left
remembering those too
you hope he drifted off
watering his garden
pruning his vines
sorting his seeds
for planting
watching his son
grow
taller and wiser
he lives
in your dreams
you hope
he left
knowing
you will always
remember
how strong he was
how hard working
how tireless
all else
fades
but the shared hopes
and dreams
and joy
and love

It rains

As I open the windows wide
To clear the air
After removing feces in a gloved hand
I hear the band playing
A raucous tune
The horn wails
for us
His shin is a shard
A splinter of what it once was
Not much bigger than the
Catheter tube
He sleeps
I watch
And wait
It rains

This changes nothing and everything

The bells ring the quarter hour
Without fail
They pealed on Christmas eve
As always
The air is chilly
But not cold
The sky is perfectly clear
Serene they call it here
The pace hastens
Lights twinkle
Shops are full
People are happy
Everyone says auguri, auguri, auguri
They smile
The family comes
And goes
Life goes on as normal
As he lay dying

Steal Away

Like a thief in the night
Sometimes I wish
He would just drift away
In his sleep
In peace
To know no pain
Or suffering
Neither his
Nor ours

The Act

A twelve inch
Sutured surgical wound
Someone so angry
With you
They brutally block
Your dreams
And yank a secure rug
From beneath you
Yet still want you
With a canister
Of chemo
Hanging from their chest
Despite entreaties
Use no protection
So you get
Your own little dose
And its implications
Finally
So despondent
Just the thought
Of affection
Provokes waves
Of tears and trembling
Only to be suppressed
It's all just an act

Writhing with a straight face

Terror with a tranquil expression

Indistinguishable anguish

Trembling

With a firm hand

Smiling serenely

Eyes abrim

Swallowing the lump

Breathing deep

and exhaling slowly

Foreboding forbid

The Guide

A tall thin Black man

On long limbs

With long 

Powerful strides

Guides walkers

Quietly 

Fearlessly

Tirelessly

Through these mountains

He guides them

Where will we go today

They ask

Just up that mountain

Across 

And down again

He guides them

As though it were 

Only a hill

He walks

And within the year

Will you scratch my head

The fellow walker asks

Breathlessly

Yes, that’s just the spot

He nods and sighs

Unable to speak

Lovingly

Tirelessly

All but fearlessly

Beside 

Two friends

Through

One last game of chess

One last partita

He guides them

To see them off 

On their journey

To another life